Just “Joking”

I was at my boyfriend’s house yesterday and some of his friends came later. We were hanging out, they were playing cards and this guy started to “joke” me as If I am one of his best friends. According to him, I do not pay attention to my “look” and my boyfriend might find some other attractive woman. And he taught it was so funny he kept saying, what happened to your face? It is mmm how can I say, there is something I do not know what and turned to his friend make a comment I did not understand and they laughed. I felt humiliated. To me, there are boundaries to make a joke, and he was totally over it. I felt sick and I left. When I got to the car I could not help but started to cry. That crying moment did not leave for a very long time. I was angry at myself too I was saying to myself consistently, what he said does not matter and I really did not care about it, the behaviour of telling his friend about it and laughing together part bothered me a lot. I kept asking myself why I felt this bad, I felt this bad because I felt like a fool, like someone who can not understand anything and someone just pointed at me. Yesterday that night when I got to bed I relived the situation again and again with possible answers I could have given to him. And I could hurt him really good though that did not give me any peace. And finally, when I pictured an imaginary wall between us and when the thing he said could not reach me I felt peace and could get some sleep. I woke this morning thinking about that. There will be people saying stuff that will make us uncomfortable. But what can we do in these kinds of situations? You can yell at joke-teller which will make you look bad and intolerant to any kinds of joke, if you can answer that person smartly go ahead and do it but in those kinds of times I just freeze. I do not have people who joke around me to my face and makes me uncomfortable, so I do not know how to react. I believe we should react however we feel. Sometimes when you are in the mood you can just participate in the joke but it does not mean that you will be willing to hear all those things every day. So fuck being a lady and say them to go fuck themselves with your manners of course :) And sometimes we can choose not to hear at all, if you can you could leave the place or change the room. So it really is up to us. There is one last thing I would like to add to anyone who felt bad about this kind of stuff before, the joke is not really about you, the joke teller might want to attract the eyes on you to not attract eyes on him/herself. Do not take it personally, which I know is very hard to do but just fuck them. A joke is a joke, but boundaries we all have for “just a joke”.